As I write this it is 7:15 in the morning. Tali-bug is still asleep. I have a bowl of half-eaten cereal beside me. I have no idea why I just told you about the cereal. Ha... Need to set the scene, I guess. Lol.
Anyway.... last night Stan and I made a decision to take a 4&1/2 year old girl, Hayleigh. Tali and I will be going to pick her up today from her current foster home, where she has been for the 2 days that she's been in state custody. She's been through some intense things in the last few days, events that I'm not sure I can share at this point, since our blog is public. And I'm not even sure I know all the details yet.
What I can tell you is this: Yesterday I was talking with my friend Danielle and I said something like, "I don't know if I can do this again - have a child in our home without a guarantee of adoption - it's so painful, so hard, such a roller coaster...." Then when I got home from being with Danielle I had messages waiting for me about this precious girl....and after my initial conversation with Stan about it (in which he said he felt good about it, but that we'd talk about it after work), I think I felt the Lord asking me if I was willing to accept this invitation into sharing in His heart for this little one....willing to go on this journey again with another child. In talking with Stan over dinner, I found myself saying, "I want to KNOW Him. I want to accept these invitations from Him into experiencing His heart. I know God's not MAKING us do this, but He's inviting us into it...." We talked for a while and decided we would go for it. So here we go. Yikes! I'm feeling the magnitude of this decision this morning. Jesus, help us! We've never done this before. I feel like we're a bit "in over our heads"... but isn't that the way Jesus wants us to live? In over OUR heads, but never over HIS. He is our life source, and He asks us to lean into Him for strength to do the things He leads us into....so we will. I am so thankful that He is sovereign and in control in all of this, and that He will have His glory in our lives and in these kids' lives. Even in the midst of this uncertainty that feels so overwhelming, He is good and worthy of our trust.
Psalm 28:7
"The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped...."
We are so thankful for all of you guys and your prayers and friendship. Please pray for us, for Hayleigh, for Tali and her adjustment, etc... in the coming days. Will post more info when we have it.
5 comments:
I am so glad you called last night. This is really a roller coaster (I know) but it is worth it. The Lord knows you he knows your strengths and weaknesses, he knows your ability to embrace and love unconditionally, he knows the stability you have to offer and he knows you will advocate for her no matter what. Dana I know the feeling of being in way over my head, but through Him we can do amazing things. I told you last night (and the offer still stands) if you need anything at all let me know... please do not hesitate.
Much love and prayers,
Tamra
This is so exciting!! God has so many great things in store for you guys! You are going to be a HUGE blessing in both of these little girls' lives! God is AWESOME! I hope the transition goes well. Let that little Hayleigh know she is LOVED!
Love you! Lindsay
p.s. can you send me updated pics when you have a chance (i know you are busy busy so don't worry about it if you are going crazy!)
Wow! That is crazy awesome!!! I'm excited for you guys! I know you will love this little one just as much as little Tali! It was so awesome to see you and Stan w/ the bug and I wish I could come out again to help and love on this one too! Please please text me with random prayer request you have!!! Love you so guys so much! We will be praying for you and that the Lord would overflow your hearts so much with love that it just cannot be contained!!! I'll also pray for rest too! :) Mooshie!!! Megan
Stana -
Tamra always seems to comment so quickly, so I am catching up.
You guys are doing the right thing. And, you will be great at it. IT really isn't as intimidating as you think it might be. You will love someone who desperately needs to be loved, and you can't go wrong with that. Just be you. Don't change anything. For whatever reason this little girl needs Stan and Dana and Tali, so just be Stan and Dana and Tali.
I will say, get ready to have heart strings pulled. But, those strings being pulled is what brings music and life into our hearts, so embrace it. Pull away. You'll enjoy the music you find more than you can imagine.
I know Tamra offers, but we are always around if you need anything. Not like we're experts, but we have a 5 year old... and he plays super well with others. He really is a great friends. And Kyler is too. Sounds like some play dates could be in the near future. I recommend Pump it Up. Last time I hurt myself, and our friend popped her ankle, but I'm sure we could keep it under control. Kids and Adults LOVE this place. Let's set a date.
It is scary. But, for just a moment, imagine the alternative. Where would this precious little girl be without you guys? Kind of takes the fear away doesn't it?
We love you guys!
Ray
praying the transition goes well for you and the little ones. so awesome what you are doing...blessings, the russells
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