Embrace This Moment: Time is flying...

Wow. It's been a month since I posted last. It feels surreal that Isaac is already over a month old. The last 5 weeks have been full of nights with little to no sleep, trying to figure out breastfeeding (Isaac had some relatively unique issues that now finally seem to be resolving - a huge victory!) which was massively overwhelming for several weeks, trying to get Isaac's skull, spine, etc. back in order after the intensity and trauma of his birth via cranio sacral therapy and chiropractic care, trying to get his acid reflux issues under control with dr. visits, medications, and probiotics.... Need I go on? And in the midst of all of this, trying to REST and RECOVER?!?! Ummm.... yeah. Not so easy. Oh, and 2 weeks ago our church had our annual "Tribal Gathering" where all of our extended spiritual family comes in from various parts of the country for some awesome family play time and encountering the Father's heart together. It was an amazing week..... though not very conducive to rest. :) So worth it though.

So, as I write this, Stan and I are fairly exhausted. Adjusting to having Isaac has been difficult - I'll be honest. Tali was an incredibly EASY baby, and we knew already that we had been spoiled by her.... we just didn't know how much. Isaac's acid reflux and gas issues (hard to tell for sure what's what - but we know he has both going on in a pretty major way) have pain super painful for him and there are lots of times where he just screams and cries inconsolably.... I know other parents have dealt with similar, and even worse, issues in their children but I just have to say - it is SO, SO HARD to watch your child be in lots of pain and not be able to do anything about it. We ask God to heal him, ask Him to take the pain away, we call Isaac's body into divine order in the name of Jesus.....and still he's in pain. I hate it.... and Stan and I have lots of questions for the Lord about why we ask and He doesn't heal and other things along those lines. It has been pretty difficult...

And YET.... on the days when I can push through the fog and exhaustion and unanswered questions and WORSHIP God just because He's worthy, worship Him even when I can't understand His ways or what He's doing or what His purpose is in allowing pain....on THOSE days I can sense His favor, His pleasure, His smile in a way that is so sweet. I've learned this before and am RE-learning it now in a deeper way than before: It touches and blesses God's heart in a unique way when we choose to worship Him in the midst of suffering that we can't understand. When we say like Job did, "Though You slay me, I will trust You," (Job 13:15) we encounter His grace that enables us to keep walking and keep learning to trust Him more deeply.

Anyway.... not every day is like that for me. Some days are just plain hard and I don't do a good job maintaining that perspective. But I know that this is the invitation that Jesus has for me in this season....and my heart's desire is to say yes to Him.

In the midst of all of the difficult moments, we have had lots of moments also of really enjoying our sweet boy.... Oh my GOODNESS his cuteness MELTS my little heart! :) I am blown away by how much I love him and how he already has my heart wrapped around his little finger. :) He is such a sweet, sweet baby. He is starting to smile at us a little bit, usually much too briefly to even think about snapping a picture, so you'll have to wait for "smile" pics. However, here are a few pictures from the last few weeks. He is growing and changing so much! How time is already FLYING! (Sorry these are blurry - most of them are cell phone shots.)

Going home from the hospital!