Hey everyone,
We are "losing" Tali. I am so sad.... I have a really, really deep peace from the Lord, and yet it feels like my heart's being ripped out at the same time. So weird.
Here's what was determined at the hearing today: The courts decided that if (birth mom) would move back to Jefferson City (where all her other kids are), and if she could procure a place to live for her and Tali, that they would award her custody - - not of all her kids, just of Tali. So, I guess in the next few days (birth mom) will be working on that. We could end up giving Tali to her as soon as this weekend...or the beginning of next week. Our family services coordinator thought that it would definitely be by a week from today.
With that said, here's a few positives:
-Tali will (most likely - assuming (birth mom) gets a place to live in Jeff. City) be going to live with her mother as opposed to being moved around from foster home to foster home. I'm relieved by this.
-Her mom MAY be living with her pastor and his family in Jeff City if she can't get back into her old apartment. This would be great because there would be a couple of (presumably) healthy adults around to "keep an eye" on Tali and her mom to make sure they're doing ok.
-Even if they don't end up living with her pastor's family, they, and her church in Jeff City, are apparently a strong support system for her as of late. My understanding is that they've really started discipling her. She mentioned during the visit yesterday that she's "grown" a lot lately because of being mentored by them. Hopefully that will continue.
-Apparently most of the "severe abuse" that's on her record was perpetrated by guys she was with, and not by mom herself. She talked with me yesterday about having gone to a shelter for battered women and children at one point - when she left her 2nd husband. She also is apparently not with any guys now. (I hope I hope I hope I hope....)
I called Stan at work and told him the news. At the time I talked with him, he said he was okay. He and I had both had a feeling that this was going to be the outcome of the hearing today.... we both feel like God was preparing our hearts. Although....even though I felt prepared by the Lord, I am still experiencing more pain over losing her than I imagined possible. I've spent the last hour and a half or so pretty much just crying....talking to my family...holding her.... crying some more.... Poor baby... She's probably wondering what on EARTH's going on.... :-/
I know that God has had Tali with us for the first couple weeks of her life for a purpose.... This girl has had more love and more prayer in the last couple weeks than most people ever do in a lifetime.... I have to believe that things have been done in the spirit over her life by all of our prayers, and those of our parents and our spiritual family. All afternoon this verse has been running thru my head:
"For I know the plans I have for you....plans to prosper you and NOT to harm you...to give you hope and a future...." I'm believing that that's an accurate representation of God's heart and purpose for Tali's life.
There were 2 other children that Stan and I were, and still are, on track to be the main adoptive resource for, before Tali came out of nowhere to us. :) I've felt this whole time that if we didn't end up getting to adopt Tali, that it was because God wanted us to have these 2. So we'll see what happens with them and will keep you posted on what we know when.
In the meantime.... thanks to all you guys for walking with us on this crazy journey. We love y'all and are thankful you're in our lives.... Pray for our hearts as we spend these last few days with Tali....pray that God will give us grace and heal our hearts, and help us to trust Him more with her life.
Love you guys.
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